My Story - by Raphael Torralba
I want to share my story to you. My life was indeed a struggle for me since I was a kid. I was not born deaf. That’s why I was raised in the hearing world, learned and adopted their culture. I consider myself a normal person. One day, I was 2 years old; an unexpected accident happened that changed my life forever. I accidentally fell from the stairs and the hard impact damaged my hearing. Since then, I didn’t notice it. I just continue my life. But, my parents discovered that I’m beginning to hear a little. For example they are calling me but I’m ignoring them. When they bought me to the EENT clinic that was the time they realize that I have a hearing impairment.
But my parents never gave up. They continued to support me. Even sometimes, they hurt me with their words because they shouted at me when I didn’t hear them. I just ignored it because I think they still don’t know my life as a hearing impaired person and how I cope with it. As I grew up, I continue to live in the hearing world and embrace their culture. Even I have this condition, I continue to live a normal person with a normal life. I even study in a normal school where I’m the only hard of hearing student. That was the start of my life’s painful happenings. I was discriminated by my classmates. They laughed me, make embarrassing things about me, shouted at my face, shouting “bingi!!” (Deaf!!), hated me and refused to make friends with me.Posted by rollingrains at July 4, 2008 02:00 AM
Even some of my teachers hated me too. There was this incident that I have never forgotten. My teacher told the class to read the story in the book silently. I was seated in front. While I was reading, my teacher stands in front of me and looking madly at me. She suddenly grabs my book and threw it away up to the door. She then told me to get the book. I was hurt and sad, and afraid because of my teacher’s ferocious looks. I have no choice but to follow her. I stand up, go to the door, get my back and proceed back to my chair. The class was silent and were all looking at me while I was walking with heads bowed. The teacher never gave the reason. Upon learning about this incident, my mom reported it to the principal. She was crying. The teacher was apologetic. But the principal dismissed her from the school. I felt I'm the victor but it wasn’t. the discrimination continued.
I was so sad and hurt when people discriminates me but I just ignored them. Their discrimination is the reason why I’m a shy and quiet person because I have a fear that if they learned my condition, they will hate me. That’s why, I’m a quiet person. I only acted as a normal person living a normal life. But my condition remains a secret for I don’t want them to hate and discriminate me. I only tell them about my condition if they understand and accept me as I am. That is the reason why I have only few true friends, true friends who understand and accept me for what I am. In communicating with other people, I managed to master the craft of lip reading. Up to this day, I still use this kind of communication to make me understand what the people say and to make me act as a normal person.
I continue my studies in the same school from elementary up to college. I got some few true friends, those who understand me. My school life was a very challenging one. Because of my condition, I always seat in front of the class just hear what my teachers says and also, to watch their lips since lip reading helped me since I was a kid. Discrimination still continued up to college. In high school, I almost gave up and I want to end my life. But, I didn’t do it. There was a time I was in the roof deck of my school and I was thinking if I should end my life. I was crying and asking God to help me. But, I didn’t do it.
In college it was really full of discrimination because of different classmates and different classes. It means more and more students will discriminate me. I just ignored them. In order to silent the critics, I went on to become a student leader from 1st up to 5th year in college- student council officer, sports editor, organization president, PRO and representative and graduation committee. But the discrimination really bothers me. It hurt me badly. I always ask God, “Why did You put me in this world when everybody hates me? I shouldn’t have live in this world. The world has turned its back on me. I was born to see and hear the beauty of this world but it wasn’t. I was born to be hated by others.” I always seek refuge in the church and ask what His purpose for my life is. I hated my life back then. That’s the reason why I was lurked to vices by drinking alcoholic beverages.During my final year in college, I strived hard because I want to finish my studies. I want to show to them that I can succeed despite of my condition. During the graduation ceremony, everybody clapped their hands when I got to the stage to receive my diploma. That’s the same thing that happened during my graduation in high school. I made it despite I was the only hard of hearing student in the batch. Being a hearing impaired person in this regular school provided me tough challenges and trials in my social life. Some would look down and even bully me. With my perseverance I was able to graduate in college. This, I consider it as the greatest achievement of my life. Amid the happy and glorious moments in finishing my studies, another burden awaits me.
After graduation, I was faced with another challenge: job searching. Because of my condition, no company is interested in hiring me. They looked in my disability, not on my capabilities. But at the stage of job hunting, I feel less confident with my lip reading. I have looked for a job 2 years after my graduation without success. I never had the chance of thinking to surrender for I recognize that I have the talent and the capacity except that I am a hearing impaired person. I don't see my hearing impairment as a disability. I see it as a challenge for me to work and persevere harder than normal people. Nonetheless, I am still confident that something in there and someone are waiting for me. I'm proud that I was able to make it in a school full of hearing students. What more if I strive harder than the normal working people?
After 2 years of looking for job, I feel discouraged again with my life. I want to give up on my life. But my parents and my few friends advised me not to give up and just be patient. I remember what my friend told me, “Bro, don’t give up. Just continue. Look around. You’ll see many normal people but some of them are not successful like you. They don’t do anything to reach their goals but just to remain lazy. But you, you made it and you continued to strive hard despite of your condition. I’m happy and proud of you because despite of your condition, you insisted to finish your education and what more, you finished it in a school full of normal people.” My family and friends believed that someday I will be successful because God has wonderful plans for me. I just need to be patient to wait for His purpose for me. I asked God again to guide me what should I do in my life, “Lord, wherever you want to take me, I will go. I will not question but follow.” I always ask that question to Him everytime I pray before my job interview. Just to guide me and help me find the right path.
While I was jobless, I joined the Philippine Federation of the Deaf (PFD) as a volunteer and help the organization. That was time I realized the differences between the Deaf, hard of hearing and hearing people. I also learned the Deaf culture. It was in PFD where I learned my life, in which group I belong- hard of hearing or hearing. I learned a lot from them. The people behind this organization became my first Deaf friends and they are my friends up to this day. I’m grateful to them for helping me.
Just a simple letter I posted in the internet led to a new beginning in my job hunting and also, connected my mom and her long-lost cousin. I shared my problem in the internet in hope that someone will help me. Indeed, it happened. Few people responded and soon, more and more people responded. Most of them come from the Persons with Disabilities (PWD) sector yahoo groups. This the time when my mom and her long-lost cousin reunited after not seeing each other for a long, long time. My uncle (her cousin) is one of the few people who helped me look for job at first place.
After many emails being sent back and forth, a group of overseas Filipino workers planned to organize a fund-raising for my hearing aid, which continues up to this day. One of the group is a book author who promised that for every books sold, 25% will go to the fund. Even a politician brought 4 books but got only 1 book. The price of the 3 books went to the fund. That’s the time I can feel that God is guiding me now in my life. I can feel His presence, guiding me to continue doing for the best of my life.
One day, as I was writing an email to be sent to the PWD groups, I saw this job vacancy for journalist of Withnews- an internet news for the disabled and the poor. I didn’t think twice. I applied immediately because I can feel that this job is right for me- I have a background in journalism and computer, and most of all, I love helping others. Before I went to the interview, I prayed and asked God again to guide and I hope that this will be the right job for me.
I passed the interview. I was happy to finally found a job. I’m so grateful to my employers for believing in my capabilities, not my disability. In return, I promised to them that I will give my 100% in ever work I do. My boss even wrote an article about me in the website:
Raphael D. Torralba, a 24 year-old hard of hearing, joins WithnewsRalph as he is fondly called by relatives and friends, at 2 years old, accidentally fell from the stairs of his home and suffered head injury that caused partial damage to his hearing. But this did not hinder this young man from pursuing his dreams, attaining a baccalaureate degree and finally, earning his rightful place at Withnews - the Internet news for the disabled and the poor.Being the newest member of Withnews, Ralph as journalist, displays a natural talent and love for writing. He did very well in his initial interview on November 6, besting an abled-applicant, and was immediately hired after the final interview on November 7. To date, he has submitted five (5) news articles to Withnews.
Ralph said, "I felt very much at ease during my interview. I sensed right away that Withnews is the place for me. I think Withnews has really lived up to its name and mission. The people I work with truly respect and accept me as a person, despite my disability." Further, Ralph said, "My family is grateful and happy that I finally found a job that would best fit my talents and skills. In return, I vow to commit myself to the works and mission of Withnews."
A graduate of BS Business Administration Major in Computer Based Information System from Colegio de San Lorenzo, Ralph said that he now feels confident about his future. He believes he can now work and support himself. He said, "I sent application letters and resume to over two (2) hundred companies for nearly two (2) years. Everytime, I was denied and I almost gave up. But Withnews is different. I am so grateful for the people who are behind Withnews. The generous and dedicated people who continue to create a difference in the lives of the poor and persons with disabilities (PWD's)".
>From your Withnews brothers and sisters, WELCOME to Withnews Family Ralph!
That's my boss article about me. At the start, I was contractual for 5 months. But because of my hard work, I was appointed to probationary after 1 month. Then after 3 months, I'm now a regular employee. It’s all because of my hard work. I let them see that I can work hard and they believed in me and in my capabilities, not in my disability. And also, because of my work, I was able to meet the people behind the PWD Yahoo groups personally in which I was sending emails in the past.
I'm now happy and contended in my work. I love my work because I'm not only a journalist but I'm of service others too, especially the poor and disabled people. It’s really a great feeling for me to help others. It’s my way of sharing God’s blessings for me to others. Recently, I was cited by a well-known organization for my work and for my advocacy and help to special children and children with disability. More and more disabled groups and other groups are recognizing me. One of them is endorsing me to be one of the 2 representatives to a 6 months scholarship in Denmark next year. I couldn't ask for more from God. He has given me blessings already and my prayers are answered. I believe He put me in Withnews so that I can share His blessings to others by helping them and I'm proud to be a journalist for His people who are disabled and poor.
God is really so good. He has showered me full of blessings already. I couldn't ask for more. He guided me to be patient and continue to work hard to achieve my success. I’m now happy and contended in my life. No one is perfect. I just continue to be me and believe in myself. My condition is not a hindrance to success. Only hardwork, determination, motivation, believing in oneself and faith in God is the key to success. I still continue to work hard for my future and that is the main focus of my life now. I'm grateful and thankful to God, my family, my girlfriend, my close friends and few people who helped me in my life and encouraged me to believe in myself..